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5 Authentic No-Nonsense Pizza Joints

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Pizza – the original culinary orgasm. It’s sad to admit, but who hasn’t mowed four pepperoni personals from the Pizza Hut drive-thru at 3 am because, hey…it’s not all that bad.  But, even though there’s really no such thing as bad pizza, not all pizza was created equal. And, especially in Los Angeles, there is a lot of this particular food item that isn’t worth the extra hour of “hiking” Runyan.  But, some definitely are.  In fact, there are some pizzas in this city that are so outstanding that they’re worth food coma, gut rot, or even death (a fan’s a fan).  Because we’re all friends here, we’re letting you in on the pizza you can’t retire without eating.  Oh, and we’re not talking about bitch pizza either.  So, if you want pretty food in a fancy place, then just put your skirt back on and head to Mozza with the rest of the trendos.  This stuff is the real deal.

Prizzi’s Piazza

With recipes straight from the owner’s Sicilian grandmother, this place is an actual restaurant with incredible food all around.  But, the Sicilian Pizza is worth writing home to your parents.  It’s so thick that it’s hard to eat more than one slice.  But, it’s so perfectly delicious, that you’ll stuff as much of that pie down your gullet as you can before exploding.  They also have a lovely patio and great wine list, so you have two great excuses to linger while your food digests to make more room. (5923 Franklin Avenue, Los Angeles)


I accidentally stumbled upon this joint on a particularly hung over day.  I didn’t think I was going to be all that impressed because the restaurant is kind of cheesy.  I will now go to the far side of the moon to have Palermo.  It’s cheesy in an awesome way, it’s cheap, and they serve little slices of their signature pizza as an amuse bouche for crying out loud!  The pizza is sensational, enormous and a master mix of cheese and sauce.  I talk about their pizza like it’s a friend of mine. (1858 N. Vermont Avenue, Loz Feliz)

Abbot’s Pizza Company

If you don’t know about the Salad Pizza at Abbot’s, then your life suffers a little less meaning.  If you do know about it, you know it’s just about the only kind of heaven for your mouth that won’t give you the clap.  Granted, the name makes it sound like a bitch pizza; but, there is nothing bitchy about it.  Be warned, however, that 1) You will be addicted and 2) It’s a takeout  / delivery kind of place so don’t expect to lurk around. (Multiple Locations in Venice, Santa Monica and Culver City)

Lamonica’s NY Pizza

Loved it in college.  Love it now.  It really is New York pizza; and, the space of the joint is the perfect kind of scuzzy without being dirty.  The pies are huge, thin and perfect.  There’s nothing fancy about this pizza but I dare you to not eat an entire pie in under 24 hours (I’ve never been able to keep a morsel uneaten longer than a day and I’m a chick).  Apparently, I’m not the only admirer, either.  (1066 Gayley Avenue, Westwood & )

Two Boots

This was my absolute favorite pizza when I lived in New York, so when I found out that a Two Boots was coming to Echo Park, I almost moved there. I didn’t, stalker I met at the Snakepit, so simmer down.  The pizza is kind of spicy, and, yeah, it’s kind of magical.  I said it.  It’s worth going through hipstertown in the pale moonlight. (1818 West Sunset Boulevard, Echo Park)


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